Here’s a fun fact about me: I was a Girl Scout. From
something like the ages of 3-17.
…
I’m taking this opportunity to pause for a moment. Utilize
this time however you see fit. Stretch your legs, go get a fudgesicle,
meditate, whatever. What I’m trying to say is, if you’re gonna laugh at my
14-year tenure as a Girl Scout, now is the time to do it.
…
Anyway while I was in Girl Scouts, I was apparently a
participant in an ongoing childhood development project. Exactly once a year,
we would take a sheet of paper and fill in the blanks for the same series of
statements about ourselves. “Some of the things I like best about life are:
__________”, “During my free time, I like to: __________”, etc. The idea was
that we would later be able to review all our answers from year to year and see
how we matured.
Our troop leader, being the fabulous person that she always
was, somehow kept all of these and recently mailed them to us individually,
with a sticky note saying, “Remember this?”
My eyes were filled with wonder as I opened that envelope. I
had a vague memory of this project but no idea what the questions or answers
would have been, and I was eager for this nostalgic glimpse into my youth.
Would my responses be endearingly naive and innocent, or did I show wisdom
beyond my years? Was I totally different than I am now, or did I foreshadow
some later prominent personality trait?
As I flipped through my answers from 2001 – 2004, my hope
and wonder was replaced by tremendous disappointment. Here is an example of one
answer that I gave for THREE CONSECUTIVE YEARS…
I am happiest
when: “I’m w/my friends.”
And that’s all she wrote, folks. That was apparently the
best summary I had to offer for the key to my happiness from the tender ages of
11-14.
So, just to recap… Childhood Susie was given the rare
opportunity to snapshot her personality, immortalize herself in a few words on
a piece of paper, and speak to her future
self… and for THREE YEARS IN A ROW I decided that the best use of this
opportunity was to debut the ground-breaking concept of having friends. And,
possibly more earth-shattering, the idea that being among those friends was something that brought me joy. And let’s
not overlook the fact that during this time frame of 2001 – 2004, I was apparently
too lazy to spell out the word ‘W-I-T-H.’
Ten-plus years later, and knowing my childhood self as I do,
I feel I have a unique perspective to offer here. At this crucial preteen-age,
Baby Susie was awkward, bookish, and pigeon-toed. Having been an only child for
most of my life at this point, I spent a lot of time alone. And my over-hyper
personality was such that if I was growing up today, I would likely have been
medicated. In other words, one thing I certainly did not have at this
stage was an overabundance of friends. This glaringly obvious fact would lead me
to believe that answering that I was happiest when I was “w/my friends” was my
pathetic attempt to rewrite history… hoping that maybe 24-year-old me would
read it and say, “Wow, what a cool girl Past Susie was. I bet she was really
popular and awesome.” Which is concerning for a number of reasons… the first of
which being that I actually thought I could trick
my future self, assuming I would have no memory of the reality of my childhood.
Needless to say, reading through the rest of my answers was
disappointing to say the least. For example:
Complete this
statement. When I am 25 years old…
2001 (age 11): “When I
am 25 years old, I will be attending college at either SDSU or an acting
school.”
Full disclosure, almost all
of my responses to this question through the years involve attending college at
age 25. Maybe it’s too much to expect an 11-year-old to fully grasp an
educational timeline, but being in college at age 25 would require a 7-year
college career. Which would logically have to mean that I either a.) was
predicting that I would not be capable of graduating in the allotted 4-5 year
time span, or b.) planned on becoming a doctor or lawyer or participating in
some other profession that requires additional schooling. BUT WAIT! One of my
scholastic options was “acting school” so there goes that idea. So, I guess the
better explanation is just that I had a fundamentally flawed understanding of
the world.
2004 (age 14): “When I
am 25 years old, I will be a 9th grade geometry teacher and married
/ engaged”
Well, at least in the course of a few years I honed in on my
life plan a little more. So much so, in fact, that I narrowed down my career
choices to ONE profession, ONE grade level, and ONE subject matter. There is no
room for negotiation on this one, 9th grade geometry was the only calling
for me. I think it’s safe to say that this answer was heavily influenced by the
fact that I was in 9th
grade at this point, and presumably very much enjoyed my geometry class.
Ipso-facto, career choice made! Let’s also not forget that I also had some
pretty specific ideas about the state of my love life. I casually threw in “and
married / engaged” almost as an afterthought, barely worth noting because
OBVIOUSLY this one is a given. And I offhandedly added the “slash-engaged” as a
reluctant Plan B in case my spinster 25-year-old self couldn’t manage to get
the deed actually done at this point.
Well I got news for you, Past Susie, 25 is just a short 8 months away for us. I
apparently lack your passion for 9th grade geometry, and I have no
immediate plans to get married and/or engaged. So cool your jets.
Complete this
statement. I could help make the world a better place by…
2001 (age 11): “I
could help make the world a better place by making smoking, drugs, and
littering illegal.”
Hey, 11-year-old Susie! Guess what! Drugs and littering are already illegal. So you’re off the
hook with that prophetic obligation. And even if they weren’t, by what
authority do you plan on enacting new legislation? Do you feel that the only
means by which you could “make the world a better place” is by being in a
position of power? Strange, because you make no mention of an interest in
political science – You went to acting school, after all.
2004 (age 14): “I
could help make the world a better place by curing cancer or making homework
illegal”
Again with these delusions of grandeur – Apparently this
year, in addition to being a 9th grade geometry teacher, I also
figured I’d dabble a little in politics and molecular biology. I guess curing
cancer is admirable enough, but my first order of business as new world leader
was going to be making homework
illegal. Oh, Past Susie, you cheeky little comedian, you!
Taking this trip down memory lane has been quite an
adventure in self-reflection, particularly on this 2014 version of myself. I
would like to believe that in the last decade I’ve become established as a
logical-thinking adult, but I have a hunch that ten years from now I’m going to
be looking back on this exact paragraph thinking What a silly little dork!
…Whatever though. I’m just gonna go hang w/my friends.
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